tastefullyoffensive:

Headline of the year.

[latimes]

So that’s how jam is made D:

(via deechow)

beben-eleben:

There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.

On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!

Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.

It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.

Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.

Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”

The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.

“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”

(via callmekev)

Writing my first resignation letter for the first job I’ve ever hated. It’s so hard to keep this letter professional =|

This is honestly the first time I’ve ever hated one of my jobs. The boss at one job is a downright bitch. She calls and E-mails me basically after every weekend shift I work just to say I did something wrong or to scold me for not doing things her way. I actually haven’t done anything wrong. She just doesn’t like it when I don’t have the time to take care of the goddamn messes that she should’ve taken care of in the first place. 

To the boss…

You don’t even take ownership of the stuff you try to pin on me. Your excuse for getting on my case is always, “because the owner hates it when we do it like this.” NO. It’s more like you’re a effin’ lazy twat that’s too scared to say it straight up as it is. If you don’t like it, tell me you don’t like it. But screw you if you get angry at me for using my professional judgement. Why did I even get my damn license to practice if I’m going to be bound to these inane rules you set up just to make life easier for you? 

How is it unfair that I leave some of the work for the other staff to work on for the next day? Well, how about this. It’s busy as I’m closing…there’s no way in hell I can finish this work when all the systems are shut down. Plus, you keep leaving shit for me to deal with, so stop being a hypocrite. 

It’s not my fault this place has such poor customer retention. You’re a downright bitch to most and a good number of the customers tell me that.  Don’t tell me to ignore some patients because “they’re really annoying.” They give you a hard time because you don’t even give them a chance. I already have people coming in asking to speak directly to me because I’m patient with them and take the time to make the best recommendations for them…oh, and they also make the point to say that I’m actually friendly. What does that say about you? Why not turn off the bitch and stop harassing me about the most petty shit that no other manager would even care two fucks about.

Oh, btw, my other bosses think you’re an anal bitch too :)

So the other week, my friend said I’m probably having trouble finding someone because I just might have commitment issues. Although I flatly rejected that, I was left questioning why I just feel like I’m stuck in this lonely pit. Am I destined to live as a one man wolf pack?

So I spent the past week trying to analyze my latest series of failed dates, flings, whatever you may want to call it, only to come down to the conclusion that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I really do have commitment issues. But something deep down kept tugging at my heart and I knew that something was inherently  missing from each of these “duds.” 

1. One was way too clingy. I have my own life. Get your own. 
2. The other was too ‘cute.’ Who the F baby talks day in, day out and thinks I won’t get madly annoyed by it? A normal adult conversation, please. 
3. One had no direction in life. I’m not going to be wasting my time with someone that has no drive or any aspirations. I’m not dragging you behind on the road I pave for myself. And, plus, the hell I’m going to be anyone’s sugar daddy. 
4. This particular individual always flaked on me. If you’re going to make plans with me, keep them. Flake on me too many times early on in any relationship, I probably won’t try anymore. Ain’t got time for that. 
5. Severe language barrier. No, I will NOT double as your ESL instructor.
6. Lousy grammar. Understanding the difference between your/you’re, their/they’re/there, etc. definitely would help keep me from wanting to rip my eyes out as I read your texts. Also, do understand when to use ‘suppose’ as opposed to ‘supposed’. It’s also, “would you like to hang out sometime” NOT “would you like to hang out sometimes.” MUST you pluralize all the words that should not be pluralized and singlularize those that should be plural?
   
7. Horrible teeth. Bad teeth really don’t do it for me. That’s probably the deal breaker for me. C’mon, we’re a few centuries clear of the Dark Ages. EIther that or you might have Meth Mouth. Both cases, I’m not kissin’ that. 
8. Poor hygiene. I hope that’s self-explanatory. 

I realize it’s not really commitment issues. it’s more like me being very selective. If I’m going to pursue anything remotely serious with anyone, that person will have to fit the mould of my ideal individual. Of course, I’m willing to compromise on a few things here and there….just not the teeth…and the grammar…and the clinginess, life-goals/motivation, reliability, uber-kawaiiness, language barrier, and hygeine. 

jonix2:

kimberrychi:

25 places that look not normal but are actually real

goal in life: visit all of these places.

Amazing

(Source: tommcready)

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Same Love ft. Mary Lambert

This just made me cry 

I passed my licensing exam!
Now time to finish this stupid internship and look for someone to make me a trophy husband!

I already want to retire and I haven’t even started working yet…

(Source: aterribletumblaer, via e-word)